The miracle of birth never ceases to amaze me. I guess that’s why I ended up becoming a midwife.
There aren’t many independent midwives anymore, and a decade ago, I’d have called it a dying profession. It’s only because of the popularity of alternate lifestyles, and new age believes that home birth have become somewhat popular again.
I’d worked as a midwife for more than three decades when I met Jana and Christian Meyer. They were a young couple in their mid-twenties. Both of them had been born into wealthy families, something that showed markedly in their lifestyle. They were the picture-perfect depiction of a new age couple: organic diets, meditation retreats, and the avoidance of hospitals and modern medicine. That’s why they’d contacted me about a home birth. I was never a fan of this type of reasoning, and, frankly, I considered them quite weird. But who was I to judge them?
As with many other clients, I met up with Jana Meyer a few times to discuss the particulars of a home birth. Many people had their own ideas about them, and wanted them to be unique; their perfect vision of childbirth. When Jana told me she wanted her birth to be as simple as possible, I was surprised. I’d have thought she’d be precisely the type who’d go for some sort of spiritual water birth or whatever was popular at the moment.
What made things even stranger was that whenever I visited her to discuss the details of the birth, she’d soon change the topic to her lifestyle. She’d go on about special diets, morning rituals, ginseng paste, and many other, similar topics. She even urged me on to try them out myself. I sat through those episodes awkwardly. The day Jana got out her books to give me a more detailed overview, I finally told her I wasn’t interested, and was only here to talk about the birth of her child. She was taken aback, but eventually nodded.
When the day of the birth arrived, I was still somewhat worried. You could never tell what would happen with these types of people. As it turned out, there was no reason for worry. The Meyers followed my instructions to the point, the birth went exceptionally well, and soon the mother could hold her child. The two of them smiled at each other, and were ecstatic at the sight of their daughter. The prejudice I’d held for them instantly melted away. In the end, we were all the same. We all loved our children the moment they are born.
What was a bit weird, was that the two of them told me they’d handle the rest by themselves. I protested, of course, but after a quick examination of mother and child, I yielded.
A week later, I visited the Meyers again. It’s common procedure. Once a week has passed, I check up on my clients to see if everything was all right. If there were any complications or problems, I could usually give them advice on what to do. If necessary, I could transfer them to a doctor I used to work with. The Meyers, however, were doing great. There was no doubt, they’d prepared themselves, and must’ve consulted a variety of books. Christian had even taken a vacation to take care of his wife and their newborn daughter. Jana was still a bit exhausted, but seemed fine otherwise. The two of them even invited me to a dinner party the planned to hold in a month, and I promised I’d be there.
When the day of the party arrived, I was a bit reluctant to follow through. I could tell that this would be a party for hip, young people like the Meyers, and I wasn’t interested in organic diets or alternate lifestyles either. In the end, it was professional reasons that made me go. Maybe Jana had a few female friends who considered a home birth themselves. It wasn’t the first time I’d met new clients that way.
The moment I arrived, the other guests were already there. I’d brought a little toy for the baby, which I thought would be a nice gesture. When Jana opened it, a puzzled expression washed over her face before it was replaced by a smile.
“Oh, for the baby, of course, thank you so much,” she said, hugging me briefly.
Then she led me to the dinner table. As I’d expected, all the guests were the same age as the Meyers. Awkwardly, and in a few short words, I introduced myself as the midwife who’d helped to deliver Jana and Christian’s baby. People smiled and introduced themselves in turn. They were all either academics or wealthy upstarts, making me feel even more out of place.
I was surprised, and somewhat confused when I learned that the theme of the party wasn’t a baby shower, but a special diet. At that moment, I realized the baby wasn’t even in the room. Jana was busy preparing the food in the kitchen, while Christian was chatting with two of his guests. I reasoned the baby was probably asleep in the bedroom.
Finally, after another half hour of sitting in my chair quietly, half-listening to the ongoing conversations, Jana joined the table. She brought a steaming pot of stew, and put it down in the center of the table. It was a creamy meat stew, Jana began to explain. As she served it, carefully filling each guest’s bowls, she rambled on about how healthy it was supposed to be. It was a new recipe she’d prepared just for this special occasion.
The moment, I saw the bowl of stew in front of me, I was a bit unnerved. The smell was weird, the consistency looked almost slimy, and the meat didn’t look like any I’d seen before. I looked up, and whispered to Jana that I wasn’t supposed to eat anything too creamy because it was bad for my stomach. When she heard this, Jana, just smiled at me and urged me on to try it anyway.
“Who knows,” she said. “It might actually be good for your stomach.”
I sat at the table sipping from a glass of water, while the other guests began eating. After the first mouthfuls they were almost devouring the stew. Soon people were asking for second and even third servings. Yet I could only look down at the bowl in front of me. I sank the spoon into the slimy liquid, careful to avoid the meat pieces, and brought it toward my mouth. It tasted weird, a bit too sweat, but also strangely sour. The consistency was as slimy as I’d expected, and I had to fight not to spit it out in disgust. After that, I didn’t eat any more of it. The rest of the guests, however, seemed utterly pleased by the meal, and quite a few of them asked Jana to share the recipe with them.
At this point, Jana mentioned the placenta. She claimed it was one of the most nutritious organs in nature, and that many exotic cultures used it in cleansing rituals. Animals even ate it after giving birth to restore lost energy. As I listened, my eyes darted to the pot still resting on the table. Those strange meat pieces… Don’t tell me…?
I got my answer from Christian. Once the two of them heard about the supposed health benefits of the placenta, they had to give it a try. But they couldn’t use someone else’s; it had to be Jana’s own. Thus, the two of them, he said, needed to have a baby. Unfortunately, a woman’s placenta wasn’t every large. It wouldn’t be enough to sustain more than a few people. That’s why he and Jana had done something else.
With that, he led everyone to a different room; a strange mixture of an office and a laboratory. Before I could react, Christian revealed a giant glass. I gasped, and took a step back. It was filled with a strange liquid, and in it swam a chunk of tissue, one way, way too large. I almost gagged, but all the lunatics around me stared at it with wide, glowing eyes.
Christian explained the process to the exhilarated crowd. He talked about cultivation, but also one particular ingredient, but I didn’t listen, I couldn’t. This… this insanity was why they’d wanted a baby? Was that why they didn’t care about the type of the birth? I thought back to their beaming expressions, their blissful smiles. It had all been in anticipation of this. It had never been about the child!
The baby, I suddenly thought. I’d not seen or heard her this entire evening. Where was she? The word’s particular ingredient reverberated inside my mind.
“Where’s the child?” I asked in a shaken voice.
“It’s only natural, Claudia,” Jana started. “The child was nourished by it for so long… it had to give back.”
In that instant, I rushed to the bedroom. There was no child, no crib, and no toys. I could see none of the things I remembered from the check-up!
“She’s not here anymore,” Jana said, standing in the door.
My eyes grew wide.
“Don’t tell me you-“
“Oh, believe me, we loved her Claudia, we loved her so much, but there was no other way.”
“You’re insane,” I mumbled, and pushed myself past her.
I made my way to the dining room, but I could hear Jana following me.
“What are you planning to do, Claudia?”
“I won’t let you get away with-“
“With what? What are you going to tell people? Do you think anyone even knows about the child? Don’t you think we planned this entire thing?”
I stared at her as she said this. Then she burst out laughing.
“Oh, Claudia, who do you think the authorities will believe? A young, educated couple, or an old midwife? Do you think anyone’s going to believe an insane story about child murders and placentas? Really?”
She gave me the most malicious, condescending smile I’d ever seen. For a few more seconds, we stared at each other. Then I grabbed my purse and jacket.
“You won’t get away with this, I swear!” I spat at her before I stormed out of the apartment.
Once I was on the stairs, I heard new bouts of laughter from behind the closed door.
The moment I was out of the building, I went straight to the police and told them everything. I’d thought they’d storm their apartment, and they would lock them up for the rest of their lives. But, of course, Jana had been right. There was no proof of the child. All the documents they’d provided must’ve been faked.
In the end, the whole thing was turned around, and I almost got charged with false accusations. It was only because of Jana and her husband not pressing charges that the entire thing was dropped.
After this experience, I couldn’t work as a midwife anymore. For months, I couldn’t think about anything but what must’ve happened to that poor baby girl. Eventually, I found a new job at a grocery store, and I was slowly able to forget about what had happened.
That was until a week ago. As I walked down the street on my way home, I recognized a young couple walking towards me. I recognized them instantly. The moment they reached me, Jana Meier smiled at me.
“I hope it’s a boy this time,” I heard her say to her husband as the two of them walked away.
